Confidence is a funny thing. Those who are lucky are born with it, others acquire it over time and some have to work at it every single day for their whole lives. I would say I slot into the middle group; I wasn’t always confident, particularly in my teen years but as I’ve gotten older I’ve begun to feel much more secure and confident in myself.
When you have confidence in yourself you will experience a number of positive changes in all facets of your life; you will meet more people, foster more positive relationships, excel in your professional life and have the guts to do things you may never have dreamed of doing before. Here are some ways that I gradually built my confidence and some ways that you can too.
Find A Hobby
People are so much more interesting when they have their own interests and hobbies. Let’s face it, people enjoy doing things that they’re good at and there’s nothing like doing things you’re good at to increase your self esteem! Whether it be photography, exercising at the gym or writing a blog like me, give it a go.
Enjoy Your Own Company
You will never have self confidence if you can’t be alone and enjoy your own company. Constantly relying on others for company and happiness can become unhealthy where as doing things alone aids you in developing independence and autonomy. I absolutely love having time to myself to collect my thoughts, read a good book and just relax.
Take Care of Your Physical Appearance
As much as we love to push the ‘it’s only what on the inside that matters’ message on people, sometimes we need to be honest and admit that putting time and effort into your external appearance can make a huge difference to a person’s self confidence. Wearing clothes that I feel comfortable in (and I’m not talking track pants), wearing makeup and getting my hair done makes me feel 100% better in myself. When you feel good about yourself on the outside, it helps you to feel more confident internally too.
How many times have you ever been so freaked out about something that you didn’t do it in fear of failure? Whether it be doing a work presentation, going on a date or bungee jumping, doing things that take you out of your comfort zone not only makes life more exhilarating and interesting but also helps prove to yourself that you’re capable of doing things you never imagined you could do. I often do things despite feeling nervous. Just remember, it’s totally normal to be afraid from time to time and you’ll regret missing out on things if you continually pass chances up.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Nothing can kill self confidence like people who put you down. The people you choose to surround yourself with should bring out the absolute best in you. If they’re confident, happy and positive, chances are you’ll start to feel the same way about yourself too. I once had a friend who constantly put me down about my appearance which resulted in me feeling pretty rubbish about myself until one day I woke up and decided enough was enough. I realised I didn’t need friends that had to put me down to make themselves feel better. I choose to surround myself with positive people who are kind to others and I’ve never been happier.
Be Kind to Yourself
Ask yourself this question: if you spoke to your best friend the same way you speak to yourself, would they still want to be friends with you? If you don’t think they would, you need to make a huge change! How can you expect to become more confident if you constantly put yourself down? Don’t get me wrong, I used to be extremely guilty of doing this. I would constantly tell myself that I wasn’t smart or attractive enough and this only resulted in me genuinely believing it. Become aware of these thoughts and take control of them. Next time you start to put yourself down follow the next step:
Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously!
We’re all human, we all make mistakes and there will always be someone smarter and prettier than you, so what?! There is no one like you in this world so accept your flaws, work with what you’ve got and become a positive person that people want to be around. Have a laugh at yourself when you stuff up and remember, everyone is winging it and no one really knows what they’re doing. Chill out and look at life with a sense of humour!
What are your tips for building self confidence? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.